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Thursday, December 21, 2017
concise business writing

“Look - I’m a technician.  I haven’t a clue about words.  It’s your job to come up with all the flowery language.”

So spoke Bob - my lovely new client.

Once I’d stopped chuckling, I had to let Bob down gently and remind him, that of the many superb services offered by Copywriter Pro, being the purveyor of ‘flowery language’ definitely isn’t one of them.


Bob was suffering from a common misconception – that for words to engage, they need to be written in the style of a best-selling novelist - with striking similes and manufactured metaphors.

Here’s an example – an extract from a recent newsletter by a famous and successful Sales Coach –

“The walk from my car to the revolving door front entrance in the Burlington Marriott Hotel couldn’t have been more than 50 yards, yet my cheeks and chin felt like sharp-edged ice pressed against them and my eyes stung.  To the south east, yellowish watery-thin sun lit gaps between horizon-wide gray cloud streaks, brightening the tops of snowbanks piled high on either side of the sidewalk.”

Let’s not debate whether this qualifies as ‘good writing’.  The sad fact is that the immediate reaction (certainly of this reader) was, ‘for goodness sake - get on with it!’.  The florid, convoluted writing style has nothing to do with the message.  It’s as though the writer is waving a big flag and shouting through a megaphone, “Hey guys!  Listen to me!  Aren’t I clever?  I can write!”

His main message was about the importance of using trusted advisors - getting there was one hell of a tortuous road!

So – what’s to be learned from this?  It’s simple.

Effective writing needs to be



and ...


Try it.  It really isn't that difficult.
But shhhh ...keep that last bit to yourself!

If you can get your message across, using simple, straightforward English, your readers will love you for it.  They really will.

And tomorrow's tip?

Are you sitting comfortably?
Sell it with a story.

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Till the next time.

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